How To Overcome The Shock of the Unexpected Loss of A Loved One

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 How To Overcome The Shock of the Unexpected Loss of A Loved One

(Edina, MN) Dr. Beth Erickson, a psychotherapist in private practice for over three decades, offers therapeutic tips for families that struggle with the shock of the unexpected loss of a loved one. When a loved dies suddenly the reality of the loss can be devastating.

The sudden, accidental death of Natasha Richardson is a good example.

Dr. Beth says: “Your whole world goes topsy turvy for a time. You feel bereft and lost like aliens have taken you and left a stranger in your midst. A roller coaster of emotions is predictable.” But how does one grieve while still needing to be functional at work and in being present to one’s immediate family?

 Dr. Beth says it is possible to do although difficult. She offers five do’s for those actively grieving:

5 Do’s:

 Be pateint with yourself- Expect for a time, your functioning will not be what it once was, or will be, again. Let others around you know of your grief. Ask help in staying focused. Accept help from those who want to take over any mundane tasks, until you are yourself again.

 Find a listening post- Good listeners do just that: they listen. They don’t tell you to get over it. There are practical ways to find good listeners. These include grief support groups, clergy, sibling, best friend, sympathetic colleague, or psychotherapist. Remember that grieving is not completed in a day-or a month, or a year- You are not just grieving the lost loved one, you are letting go a part of yourself. It takes time. As time passes, your pain will begin to subside.

Talk about it, cry about it, and sit with it- People regularly ask me how to tell when they have resolved a loss. My answer is always: “You’ll know.” You simply beging to feel different. You will be changed by your experience, yet you will feel back to being yourself again.

Understand nobody else can feel exactly as you do; they can only try- Don’t make it harder by isolating yourself. Even if people don’t share your exact emotional experience, many kind souls will try to honor your pain and changed reality.

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